Perfect Black by Crystal Wilkinson

Author:Crystal Wilkinson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The University Press of Kentucky
Published: 2021-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

BLACK BODY

My black body is a boulder, a stop sign. Sometimes i think my body is graceful, a song of freedom. Sometimes i think it is something that every eye casts away. I must concentrate if i want to fit into small spaces, slip into the eye of america’s needle. Twice last week i went without eating, filling up on self-loathing & discontent only to give in to a slice of pound cake & a bowl of ice cream. To stay awake, i drink a glass of tea & watch the flawed reality of television housewives. Before bed, i stretch myself out along the couch & place my feet in my husband’s lap. I can’t stop thinking about the little black girl in the back of Philando Castile’s car. Mommy please stop screaming so they won’t shooted you. At four years old, she saw her mother’s unarmed boyfriend shot, bleeding, dead on the front seat. I can keep you safe, she tells her mother. My body embarrasses the famous white woman at the writing conference as if my fat will rub off on her if she gets too close. When i’m sick i want buttered sweet rice & a tender hand moving in circles on my back. Yesterday i ate meatloaf, mashed potatoes & green beans at the cracker barrel in tennessee. The white waitress called me Babydoll. Once i remember feeling the quickening of babies in my womb, four tiny hands pressing against my navel, four tiny feet pressing against my ribs.

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